Letters
by Miss Katrina Malfoy
Summary: What if Chris knew from the start that his mission was probably going to be a suicide mission? What if he knew from the beginning he was never coming back? How would he have acted differently and how would he handle his goodbyes?
1. Wyatt

* alright so this is my first attempt at anything CHARMED so I may screw up badly, just FYI but this idea popped into my head and won't go away until I put it on paper so here you are…It's been about a year since I've watched anything Charmed so forgive me if I miss some things. Please tell me right away and they will be fixed as soon as humanly possible. Oh and it is rated T for occasional use of strong language and some situations that may not be good for kids. Oh and before I forget…I own nothing…but man I very much wish I did. LOL there would so have been a charmed spin off series and a movie and a plushie Evil Wyatt because IDK too cute lol anyway…. Enjoy! – Kat *

Chapter 1: Wyatt

Christopher Perry Halliwell. He had used that name for a very long time. It seemed incredible that he would be leaving it behind. But it was worth it. He needed to do this, for Wyatt. What would Wyatt say if he knew about Chris's little mission. They hadn't really been close for a long time but that never stopped them from caring for each other.

Wyatt was hurt by what he considered to be Chris's betrayal. He never imagined his little brother would turn his back on him and the thought alone sickened him. Wyatt had assumed his brother would understand. After all, they both loss their mother to this stupid game of back and forth good and evil had been playing for eons. Wyatt assumed that Chris would be so proud of him for ending that struggle. Wyatt assumed their bond as brothers would transcend any minor missteps that occurred on the way to a world without a struggle, a world where they would both be safe. That was always his goal. That was the reason he started all this. He just wanted his little brother to be safe.

Wyatt never forgot that day when he heard his brother screaming for him. He had been UP THERE with his father at the time and they were training without distractions with Excalibur. They had just finished and he was about to get cleaned up when he heard screaming. It was so loud that he was shocked it didn't penetrate the training area. Immediately he orbed to his brother. The sight he saw he would never forget. Chris was covered in blood. Wyatt's heart dropped at the sight. "Chris! Oh my god are you alright" he had taken his brother and checked him over. He had a very large gash on his face and some scratches on his arms but that surely couldn't account for all that blood. Chris had been frantic to get his attention but now that he had he couldn't stop crying long enough to explain the problem. Wyatt felt himself being pulled by Chris who was having some trouble doing it and sputtering. When they arrived in the kitchen he saw why. The kitchen looked a bit like Chris had upon Wyatt's arrival, blood, broken glass a nasty hole in the wall and the desiccated remains of Piper Halliwell decorating the kitchen table. He immediately threw up. It was the most vile thing he'd ever seen in his whole life. Clearly she was gone, how could she not be. Something big has spattered her all over the room. He never asked for the story from Chris. For one thing, he didn't think he could take it and for another he wasn't sure Chris was in any condition to tell it. He orbed his brother to Magic School, hoping he would be safe there and then called his father down. Leo and Piper hadn't been on the best terms for the last few years but Wyatt knew he was the only one who could help. That was the last time he'd seen his father. Some of the other elders said Leo had orbed into a group of Darklighters and that was that. Others said he was still around but by that point Wyatt no longer cared. He had tried every spell he could think of to make it not true, everything was in vain. He knew that if he was to protect his brother he needed power, power was the only thing that mattered.

As for Chris, well, he saw Wyatt's path to evil as being a direct betrayal of another sort. He still remembered every word their mother had given them on how to be a good witch. It sounded so trite to say it but he had always imagined himself and Wyatt as the new charmed ones someday. He could still remember telling his brother that when he was 8. Wyatt just smiled and gave him a hug. He'd taken that to mean Wyatt agreed but all these years later he wasn't so sure. All his research had led him to believe that whatever changed Wyatt happened before he was even born. Admittedly that little fact had made him self conscious for a while. At one point he was sure it was all his fault. After all, Wyatt hadn't been corrupted before Chris was born and afterwards he was.

Clearly there had to be some connection, at least that's what he had figured out at 16 when the only member of his immediate family he had left had become the source of all evil. To a 16 year old, it didn't matter the reason for Wyatt's conversion. What mattered is that he was alone. Something that was horrifying considering the fact that he was still in mourning for his mother. Sure he had grandpa but the old man had already began to get sick by that point and Chris knew that his grandfather wasn't long for the world. He even tried to beg one of the elders to help but they just gave him the old personal gain lecture and left. To be 16 and alone in the world wasn't something that he had ever imagined when he was a kid, having his little dreams of Chris and Wyatt, the famous Halliwell brothers, the ultimate force for good in the universe.

He had always imagined them like that, he idolized his brother when he was a kid. The twice blessed son. True, Chris had genetically the same advantages, but it didn't seem to matter. Wyatt mattered, a fact that wasn't lost on him as a boy. But neither Wyatt nor his mother ever made him feel like he wasn't just as important. Leo had…his father, well maybe genetically. His parents had begun to drift apart when he was about 3 and he never knew if it was because Wyatt was so special or if maybe he was just too much like Piper but he never seemed to see Leo after that. Leo tried for a while, but he just couldn't make himself care as much about Chris as he did about Wyatt. True, they only formally divorced the week before his 11th birthday but Chris knew from a very early age that "Daddy" was only something Wyatt had claim to. He had accepted it because his mom always made him feel like he was special too. Her little peanut. Even soo many years after he lost her, hearing her call him peanut was the one thing that he missed above all else.

No, reminiscing about things he couldn't change wouldn't help him. This was a decision that had taken much of his life for the last two years. He knew, in all probability, he wasn't coming back. Clearly whoever was powerful enough to change Wyatt wasn't going to be too happy to have him snooping about. The past was a dangerous place and even with all his powers there was very little chance of him surviving to make it home. He hadn't told Bianca about that. How could he? It would make her feel like she wasn't as important as Wyatt to him. Truth was, he was doing this for her too. Because she deserved to live in a world not ruined by the tyranny of Lord Wyatt. He did love her, at least he thought he did, but all of this had been weighing on him for too long for it to be over so quickly. She and Wyatt were the only people he still cared for. Everyone else was gone.

Chris had heard rumors a few years back that his Uncle Coop was still alive. He remembered how eagerly he raced to find him and how devastated he was to discover it was just another trap. Rival Demon factions to Wyatt's throne wanted him to use against Wyatt. Wyatt wanted him because he wanted his brother to join him and others simply wanted him dead because he had most of the same potential as his brother and another evil dictator was more than the world could stand. No where was really safe for the younger Halliwell brother.

Knowing he wasn't coming back was actually of some comfort to him. He had set his affairs in order, left messages for both Bianca and Wyatt telling them that he loved them and that he would miss them but what he was doing was for the best. He didn't say what he was doing incase Wyatt tried to stop him but he did say he was leaving and he wasn't coming back. He had written his suicide letters as he called them in his head and that was the end. He came through the portal into the past and whispered "I'm so sorry Bianca" as he dived through the hole.

…..Lord Wyatt had just heard of the burglary at the Halliwell Museum. He knew, before the stuttering buffoons that were SUPPOSED to watch the house even mentioned it, that it was Chris. He sighed in irritation and orbed back to the now closed Manor. His eyes took in every room looking for something out of place in his childhood home. His droids still flew around scanning everything. He could still almost feel his brother in the air, he knew Chris had been here. He had been trying to find him for years, succeeded a couple times but he was never able to hold him or stop him. He entered his old bedroom, looking with distain at the baby pictures dotted here and there along the furniture. Just as he turned to leave he noticed something out of place. Weird, as usually when there is a burglary something is taken, not left. "idiots" he muttered, reminding himself to dispose of them when he got done here. It was in an envelope and simply marked 'Wyatt'. The handwriting looked vaguely familiar and he knew he'd seen it before. But it had been so long he couldn't be sure. He ripped the letter open and began to read. His irritation changing quickly as his emotions make themselves known. He was alone now and had no one to impress. Even so, a letter from his lost brother would've been enough even if he wasn't alone to cause him to drop his mask of irritation and distain. A mask which he used so often it had pretty much become his face. His eyes took in the shaky handwriting.

_Dear Wyatt, _

_You may never see this letter and I wouldn't be surprised if it gets destroyed long before you read this. First let me tell you I still love you. But I can't be with you. I know you still want us to be a family although I can't see how. You aren't the brother I knew anymore, you haven't been for a very long time and I've accepted that. But I can't accept that you weren't made this way. I know you've told me before that this was a choice you made and that no one made you make it but I know that isn't true. I've always believed in you ever since I was a kid and I don't believe any of this crap about 'it's only power'. It isn't just power, Wyatt, it's evil. Surely you know it to. But I know there is still some good in you, if there wasn't you could've killed me long ago. _

_I'm writing to tell you I'm leaving, Wyatt. And I know in my heart you'll never see me again. Please don't try to stop me, you can't. This is what I want. I know it won't make sense to you, and trust me if there was any other way to do what must be done I would've found it. I know this will hurt you but I thought that it would be better that I say goodbye now and give you some closure. I know after mom died you and I were never the same, I still miss her too Wy and I know that you do. _

_I'd like to think I know the real you better than anyone, better than yourself sometimes so I know that this will hurt. Just know I'm doing this for you, to save you. Please don't hate me Wy. But this is goodbye. Deep down we always knew that one of us was going to die young and I'd never have the heart to let it be you. You will always be my brother underneath it all. _

_I love you, goodbye_

_Chris_

Wyatt sat there stunned. His little brother was gone, probably forever. It went against everything he had worked for. He only wanted his brother to be safe. What the hell was the point of all the power in the world if it couldn't save the one person who meant anything to him. It wasn't even that, it was the fact that his brother was killing himself. That was the hardest part. It felt like his heart was being ripped out, which was strange because he had convinced himself a few years ago that he didn't have one. He seen most of his family killed, some by his hands, some by his orders, even some by people who thought it would matter to him. It never had. He had seen the lights leave their eyes, ignored their final desperate calls for some good in him. It hadn't hurt.

But this hurt, more than anything, even more than when he lost his mother. "How could you do this to me!" he screamed to the empty house, his voice echoing in the expanse. He crumpled the letter in his fist, his anger and pain nearly destroying it. But knowing it was the last thing his brother would ever give him made him pause and fold it.

He took himself back to his place, vanquishing everyone in sight made him feel a little bit better. He was alone for a little while, he smoothed out the page and put it in his locked cabinet where he normally kept the book of shadows. This was more important to him right now. He murmured a few locking spells and set down to collect himself.

His hands ran unbidden over his face, where he found tears. He couldn't remember the last time he cried. He was sure it hadn't been for a long time. He had even forgotten what it felt like, probably why he hadn't noticed he was crying. It seemed like some kind of joke. It wasn't possible. The source of all evil doesn't cry. It was as simple as that.

This time had to be different. It just had to be. He had more power now than he could've ever imagined and surely there was something it was good for. What was the point of all the power in the world if it couldn't change anything. His mind whorled as he tried to be logical about everything. He tried to think about this like any other problem he had faced. He hadn't become the source by not understanding how to pull off big things. He'd done them before. He had orchestrated his take over with the precision of a master strategist, anticipated most every eventuality and used it to his advantage. Sure, his brother was the best when it came to planning but you don't live with the little squirt for most of your life and not picked up a few things.

But every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Chris as his mother was, his remains on the kitchen table. His blood all over the kitchen. He had murdered that demon a long time ago but the brutality of the attack was something he never understood. Why not simply kill her? Why did he have to rip her to pieces? And, not that Wyatt ever wanted that to happen, but why not kill the kid. Chris had been thrown into the wall in the kitchen, he was knocked out before the demon finished with Piper. It would've been too easy to just kill him to. But he hadn't.

Wyatt had demanded an answer from that demon as he slowly tortured him. Wyatt made sure to inflict the maximum amount of pain before he killed it, the demon's tortured screams fed his wounded soul. He relished it, he enjoyed it and it awoke in him a love of brutality and pain. It wasn't evil, it was justice. He could still see the demon's face when he made him eat his own finger. He thought of that part himself. As that hand he had used to rip his mother to pieces, it seemed only fitting that he be forced to make it disappear. It hadn't brought his mother back. It didn't change the pain he felt. He had wished it would, he hoped that once he removed the monster than he could sleep again without that image haunting him. But as the demon died, and he saw himself covered in the demon's blood, suddenly it didn't seem like such a great idea. He promptly threw up again then cursed his weak stomach and then orbed directly into his shower at home. Chris hadn't needed to see that. But it wasn't until a couple days later that he realized Chris never came home from Magic School. He found him sitting in the library, reading every spell book he could find trying to find out if there was some way to change what had happened. Wyatt had taken the book and sat it on the table only to see Chris orb it back. He looked so lost and Wyatt cursed his thoughtlessness. He had been so intent on tracking the demon down he hadn't been there for Chris. Sure, Chris would never blame him, probably hadn't the nerve for it.

After everything he had been through, Chris wouldn't spare a thought to where was Wyatt when he needed him. Truly he hadn't thought to call him when the Demon first attacked, true he was defeated quickly and only heard his mother scream before he lost consciousness. He hadn't had time to get help really but he still blamed himself. He hadn't been prepared. Piper and Chris had been making cookies when the demon shimmered in and Chris had gone into the pantry for more chocolate chips. He heard a crash and the bag of chocolate dropped from his hand as he hurried back into the kitchen. He had tried to tk the demon into the dining room only to find that it didn't move. It was too late for second chances as he was thrown across the room and smashed into the wall. It had been over an hour later before he had regained his senses. He had rushed to his mother's side, refusing to believe he couldn't help her. He screamed for Wyatt and Leo constantly while shaking her saying "mom, mom wake up the demon's gone mom mom please mom" and so on. He had just resolved to try scrying for Wyatt when he appeared. It had been a long time since he'd started screaming for Wyatt and Leo and he lost his senses when he tried to explain himself. He had eventually just dragged him into the kitchen, not knowing how else to make him understand. Wyatt knew it was much to late from the moment he entered the kitchen. Chris knew it too, but he had been unwilling to accept it until Wyatt truly arrived and couldn't help.

"This time I can change things, I know I can" Wyatt announced to himself. He called for a few of his top demons, then after waiting a while he realized he probably killed them earlier. Unfased, he kept calling out names until one of them appeared. "finally" he muttered. "Lord Wyatt, how may I serve you" the demon, Belkindo, bowed low, his humanoid but green face remaining parallel to the floor. Anyone who had been invited to meet the source knew that you never turned your back to them. That is, if you wanted to live. "Bring me Bianca." Wyatt scowled. Belkindo thought for a moment he saw tears in Lord Wyatt's eyes. Shocked he looked a little too closely and Wyatt orbed his arm away from his body. Belkindo screamed, the immense pain to regrow an arm for his species not withstanding, having it severed in such a manner was horrific. "I'm sorry, did you not hear me the first time?" Lord Wyatt mocked "don't make me take your head, I know that doesn't come back." Belkindo bowed again and shimmered out "Moron" Wyatt muttered, tossing the now torsoless arm across the room and into the fireplace.

* Well….any thoughts? This kinda popped into my head so you will forgive me if it seems a little wonky. If you don't think it's a good idea, please don't hesitate to tell me. Honestly, I value criticism just as much as compliments. *


	2. Spells from the Past

* wow, a lot of really good feedback for the last chapter, I'm very glad you guys liked it. I saw several people add it to their favorites list and several put it on story alert so thanks guys, I appreciate it.

For lunarweather who wrote:

_I like it! You write very well. I'm interested to see what happens next. Are you going to go through all of season six _

Thanks, I'm very glad you liked it. Easy answer to your question is probably, maybe even farther. I want to make this about Chris but also about how his departure affected the ones he left behind. So this chapter, for example, we pretty much only see Wyatt. There is a good reason for that. Wyatt didn't take things well in the last chapter, so I thought that dwelling more on his memories and his pain would be important.

To monebuddha who wrote:

_I'm very interested. I would definitely like to read more._

I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! And thanks so much for your interest, I do appreciate it.

To My Alternate Reality who wrote:

_I am really liking the story. You are really getting into Wyatt's head and seeing where he is coming from. The letter from Chris is exactly what I see him sending his brother._

_Very interested to see where you go from here..._

First of all, may I say, this author is in the process of writing a very different alternate future fic which, if you can handle some of the more adult situations, is really terrific and extremely unique, two of the things I like about future fics. Secondly, I am quite honored that she read this and liked it, and I hope I can continue to keep things interesting.

You may have noticed how I handled memories in the last chapter and I feel it needs to be explained. If you want though, you can scroll down to where the story actually starts. I know sometimes you guys don't like author's notes so I really don't mind if you skip them. As most of you know, when you remember something it is because it was triggered by an event or a feeling. So when I handle the memories of a character, I do it in that format, as a simple natural flow of thought patterns. There is, in this chapter one very badly written spell. I made it bad on purpose, as it is supposed to represent something a 7 year old could write, for 7 it's pretty advanced lol oh and by the way, there is a tiny back to the future reference, see if you can catch it lol and there are two spells from the actual series. I figured by the time the future came along, if they weren't already they would've made their way into the Book of Shadows!*

Chapter 2: Spells from the past or life inside Wyatt's head

Wyatt was alone. AGAIN. He'd sent that damn demon after his little brother's girl ages ago and it seemed she was giving him the slip. He hated it when someone did that. Truth be told, none of his hired help had much in the way of brains but still, it would stand to reason that it couldn't possibly be so hard to find her.

What had Lord Wyatt the most unsettled was that uncomfortable feeling that had made itself at home in the pit of his stomach. For the millionth time he thought back to that letter and what it meant. The other thing which had him bothered was wondering how many people knew Chris was not coming back. Wyatt vowed that no matter what, whoever had known this and still allowed his only brother to go would be dealt with, severely. In spite of everything, Chris was the only person in his life that he ever felt truly cared about him. The idea of loosing that, loosing him, was simply more than the twice blessed blonde was capable of handling. Ever so often, he had to remind himself he was the source and none of this was seemly…of course then he'd correct himself further saying he was the ruler of the world, and no one had the right to correct his behavior. Satisfied with his rationalizations, he allowed himself to be worried and upset.

He wished once more, as he had for the past several years, that Chris would've simply come to his senses and joined him. He too had always imagined it being the two of them against the world, but he refused to believe his brother couldn't still see it. They were both powerful, Wyatt infinitely more so, but that wasn't the point. True, having Chris with him wouldn't have affected his ability to seize and hold control but still he had initially expected Chris would just see the path he was on as being the righteous one and come along for the ride. It would've been so much easier to protect him if Wyatt had Chris with him to protect. Surely his brother could understand that. Right?

Wyatt racked his brain trying to remember if he knew of a way to summon Chris. True, he'd tried several things in the past and all had been unsuccessful, primarily because Chris expected everything and was prepared for any eventuality. He had never managed to force Chris to come to him but maybe this time was different. Wyatt allowed that slim lifeline of hope to bolster his spirit and give him the resolve he needed.

It had been years since he had needed to use what his brother called 'his good magic' truly, becoming the source had become the answer to most every need he'd had of late and he had no real need for spell casting or the like. But perhaps that was the problem. He refused to believe he had neglected his ancestral powers. But, the mere fact that there was no use for them made him feel a bit out of practice. Also, spell writing had never really been his greatest talent. He told himself that was because he had no use for it but that wasn't true. Simply put, he hadn't a talent for the written word.

He could still recall one of the first spells he ever wrote and just how badly that went. He had been around 7 or so and he and Chris had found a puppy while playing in the yard. He was afraid of the puppy for some reason, he couldn't remember why, but it bothered him. Well his little brother found that hilarious and promptly snuck the pup into the manor. Well, late that night while he was sleeping, Chris had orbed said puppy into Wyatt's bed. Chris found it hysterical when Wyatt ran from the room. He didn't find it so funny when Wyatt returned.

Little Chris hadn't known where Wyatt had been. Wyatt had darted into the bathroom to think of a way to get back at his brother. He tried to remember if Chris was ever frightened of anything but he hadn't been. Then Wyatt had a great idea, if Chris was so attached to this puppy, then Wyatt would show him what would happen to non magic entities in his household. He thought up a spell, his first and he was awfully proud of it.

_Animal that brings me woe_

_Teach my brother what I know_

_When next he sees his puppy dear_

_It will become a thing to fear_

Later excursions of spell writing had made that little ditty so impossibly dumb to him that he never EVER told anyone about that spell. He remembered heading back to his room, swinging open the door to find a still-laughing-like-a-loony Chris and a very happy little doggie. But as a very smug Wyatt watched, the puppy changed, growing into a snarling wendigo. Chris was frozen from shock and was backed into the wall. Wyatt's moment of triumph was short lived, however, when the beast attacked his brother. Chris screamed and fell to the floor.

By the time Wyatt managed to say annul the spell, Chris was barely breathing; long gashes covered his legs and arms, with a particularly deep one across his chest. Wyatt knelt at his brother's side, crying and apologizing for his stupidity. For a very brief moment the golden glow wouldn't appear and Wyatt had a terrible suspicion that, in his efforts to teach Chris a lesson, that he had killed him.

Those few minutes became the most frightening thing in his young life. And it was all his fault. Guilt had been blocking his ability to think clearly enough to summon his healing power. Chastising himself, Wyatt focused and finally managed to access his golden glow. Sighing in relief, Wyatt healed his brother and sat there on the floor in that puddle of Chris's blood holding him close. By the time their mother had arrived home from her emergency at P3, Wyatt had Chris and the floor all cleaned up and snuggled into bed. Piper checked in on the boys but seeing them still in bed eased her conscious for having to leave them. She had relied on Wyatt's shield lately more than she really thought she would but she told herself it was just for a few minutes here and there. Wyatt had breathed a sigh of relief when the door of the bedroom had closed once more. If his mother ever knew what had just happen, she'd probably bind both Chris and Wyatt's powers and they'd both be lucky to ever get them back. She'd done it on a temporary basis but only on extreme circumstances. She even had a spell for power restriction whereby she had to give a code word for either of the boys to use them. She tried not to use that though incase there was an emergency and the boys needed them. But that time Wyatt had orbed to China to avoid going to the dentist had made it one of those spells where the personal gain was just going to have to be accepted.

Of course, she and her separated husband certainly had their differences of opinion on those small limitations she occasionally placed on her boys. Whenever she saw the bastard he was lecturing her on how Wyatt was so very special and Wyatt needed to be protected and Wyatt needed his powers and Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt. Whenever she took to mentioning his other son, Leo would just look at her, tell her it wasn't that important and to leave it alone. Sometimes he tried to care, he would occasionally make an effort to be a father and a husband but with every new resolution came the certainty that it wouldn't last. Lately, he had began to taper off trying. Piper was pretty sure that someday he'd stop caring altogether. When she would get mad at him, he would give her a kiss and tell her he loved her and all that rubbish, making it damn hard to stay mad at him.

So she did what she could, invented little spells just as her grams had and did the best she could. She had her sisters on occasion but they both had their own lives. Charmed duties few and far between of late, it seemed that only the constant threat of attack had been the only thing that had kept them together, with that tapering off, well, there wasn't really much there anymore. Piper tried, she really did, but between raising the boys and P3 and trying to keep on top of everything, she didn't have much time for sisterly bonding.

Wyatt still remembered his mother, more clearly lately than it had been in years. He supposed that since he always saw so much of his mother in Chris then thinking about Chris would mean also thinking about his mother. Truth be told, she had been everything to him once, he would always remember that. Her smile, her cookies and the way she always tried to treat both her boys fairly. Problem was, every time he spent too much time thinking about her he was constantly brought back to that horrible day. He never stopped hating his father for taking him up to train that morning, ever since his parents had split for good, his father had taken it upon himself to teach Wyatt everything he could. Wyatt would sometimes ask why Chris could go and Leo would always mumble something about prophecies and the greater good and all that elder crap to the point where eventually Wyatt stopped asking. He hated that his brother had to be left out, and he hated that there was really no good reason for it. It seemed that Leo just didn't like Chris and didn't want him. Wyatt suspected that he blamed Chris for the eroding of his marriage to his wife, that didn't start to fizzle until Chris was 3. Wyatt had reasoned that Leo had his reasons but they weren't very good ones. After all, what sane person would blame a toddler for their own inadequacies. As far as Wyatt was concerned, Leo made his own mess, and it was never Chris's fault, a fact he wasn't able to convince Leo or Chris of.

That was another time he was reminded that his magic wasn't powerful enough to fix the problems he was faced with. He remembered the spell he wrote when his parents were getting divorced. He thought if he could just get it right then maybe he could fix things. Chris had been rapidly approaching 11 but was already very sure of himself. He very smugly told his older brother about personal gain and when that didn't work he mentioned consequences and back firing. Wyatt could remember turning to his brother, a angry look on his face and telling him this was his fault anyway and he should be happy Wyatt was going to clean up his mess. Chris looked horrified and hurt and Wyatt quickly realized his mistake. He tried to explain to Chris that he was sorry and that he didn't mean it but Chris simply ran down the stairs and to the front lobby. When he heard Wyatt pounding the steps running after him he orbed away. Wyatt had cursed to himself as he watched the blue-white orbs rise up and disappear. He thought of chasing after Chris but then reasoned that Chris would forgive him if he could make it work. He was sure that his little brother would be overjoyed to have a family again, despite what he said to the contrary. Wyatt trudged back up the steps and sat down with his pad and paper in the attic. He thought he had it, and he burned rosemary and thyme and added a little of his blood and his mom's hair. He thought maybe this would get it right, it couldn't hurt.

_My mother's pain_

_Make him feel _

_Teach Leo Wyatt_

_How to heal_

_His broken marriage_

_Their broken hearts_

_Tell them tell them _

_Where to start_

Wyatt remembered the room shifting and suddenly the scene changed. Memories from his life and his brothers had been stored in plain sight but were gone after the shift. His mom and dad were alone in the middle of the attic and he could see how bad his dad looked, he was pale and sweaty and his mother was crying, holding her hands over him. She looked very different, she was pretty young, slender and had bangs covering up most of her forehead. Not thinking, Wyatt ran over to them and pushed his mom out of the way and placed his hands over his father and willed the healing to begin. His mother looked different, and was crying at him not to hurt Leo, like she didn't even know him! Wyatt finished and turned to her, "Mom what the hell is going on here?" Piper looked stunned and murmered, "I'm not your mother kid" And just as Wyatt was really starting to freak out, Chris arrived, his hand half disappeared. "what did you do?" Chris snarled. "I didn't mean to I was just trying to fix-" Chris interrupted Wyatt, fire in his green eyes "never mind alright, I'm going to fix it like I always have to.." Chris sounded a lot more grown up than a 10 year old had any right to.

Chris calmly explained to Wyatt what he had done, and that he had gone back in time and stopped his parents from falling in love, essentially unmaking both him and his brother. Wyatt stammered that he just wanted them to be a family and Chris pointed to his rapidly vanishing arm showing him that he just made it worse. Wyatt couldn't remember the exact spell so Chris reasoned they could go back just a bit further, undo whatever Wyatt had done. Chris chanted from heart the time travel spell from the book of shadows:

_Power of the wizards rise_

_course unseen across the skies_

__take me back to where I'll find__

_ _what I wish in place and time__

_ They jumped back to Wyatt's arrival and stopped him, Chris pulling both Wyatts behind a stack of boxes off to the side. Time caught up with the two Wyatts and they merged into one. They waited for what seemed like forever for the young version of their parents to leave the attic. Chris then made his way over to the book trying to find a way to take them home. Meanwhile Wyatt tried to remember the spell he had casted that got him there in the first place. But in the time it had taken him to do so, Chris remembered a spell from the book of shadows and called Wyatt over to chant with him. _

_Spell was cast_

_Now make it past  
>Remove it now<em>

_don't ask me how._

The room shifted once more and both Wyatt and Chris were deposited back in the attic of their time. "you idiot!" Chris screamed, pushing Wyatt away from him. " thank god I realized something was off and went to get you, we'd probably both have vanished if I hadn't. you're supposed to be the mature one and I'm always cleaning up after you!" Wyatt was about to respond when the idea of stabbing his brother with Excalibur popped into his head. He had the sword in his hand before he came to his senses and tossed it to the ground as if it were poisoned. That was the real reason this memory never faded from his mind, because for one brief instant he had considered killing his brother. True he had, since then, lost his temper with Chris several times and hurt him badly. But he never once, since that day, had ever thought about killing his brother. He was shocked he had thought about it back then. He just reasoned he was young and prone to emotional outbursts.

Wyatt was still lost in his memories when he felt a shift in the air. His eyes raised to meet a green face. "My lord" Belkindo said, with as much deference has he could manage "I've got her" "It's about time, you incompetent buffoon. Now be gone." Lord Wyatt waved his hand at Belkindo who promptly shimmered away, he didn't need to be told twice, not again anyway. Wyatt made his way slowly towards the detention center. Walking gave him time to think about how he would handle Bianca. He didn't want to hurt her too badly, if only for Chris's sake. He was very certain if he killed the phoenix witch, that Chris would never forgive him. Maybe persuasion would be the best way to go about it. If he prayed on her fears of loosing Chris he could both gain the information he needed and possibly win a powerful ally, which would be handy in trying to get Chris to see things his way, surely if the love of his life could be made to understand, then she could convince him. Satisfied, Wyatt smiled to himself and stopped off to retrieve the letter Chris had left for him. That way he could prove to her that Chris was not planning to come back. Surely that would convince her.


	3. Catching Up With Chris

* This chapter is dedicated to my amazing reviewers, you guys make life interesting, thanks for being a part of mine.

To Meyli Vaisyl who wrote

Waouh... Just wow. I can say nothing else. It's absolutely awesome.

Meÿli.

You're amazingly sweet, and I'm humbled that you read my story, I hope you continue to think it's awesome, I'll do my best to keep it that way lol.

To crncyln who wrote

_Awesome chapter! Please write more!_

_Even in this chapter, we see the love Wyatt has for Chris. We are Getting to see the perspective of everyone that Chris left behind, when he went to the past. Just brilliant, the whole story idea is totally brilliant! Please Update Soon_

First thanks for your sweet review, I really needed some feedback and thanks for reading. I'm sorry for the lateness of the updating, I hope you aren't disappointed. This fic is kind of more about how they are feeling than the actions they're taking. Not that they won't be acting but it's what's going on inside that we can't see in the series and maybe we should be able to. Idk though, just my idea anyway. Lol

For My Alternate Reality who wrote

OMG, how did I miss this chapter? Loved the rationalization that Wyatt did. Sounds like he does that a lot in life. I can feel the love he has for Chris and it is so sweet, even in his evil form. I am really hating this Leo though :p

I think I caught the back to the future reference! The fading arm, right? LOVED those movies :)

I thought the spells were great, even the one by the 7 yr old Wyatt. They are much harder to write then it appears :) I had to laugh at the one with the 'don't ask me how'- I remember that one!

And I have to say I am humbled by the shout out you gave to me and my story. So very kind and I totally feel the same way about you reading my story :)

Wyatt does have those epifanies after the fact a lot of the time, realizing he made a mistake but feeling like it's too late to fix it. You're supposed to hate Leo. He will get his ability to explain, to redeem himself, but that's not where we are at the moment, we are with our favorite brothers trying to understand them. And yes the fading arm, props for you! Lol

Chapter 3: Catching up with Chris

The room was awful. He'd known it would be. He'd been there often enough as a kid to know how horrible it was. You'd think after getting by on nothing and surviving demon attacks and Wyatt's insanity, that Chris would be able to handle anything.

And maybe he could, maybe that wasn't the problem. It wasn't just that the room was awful. That wasn't the problem, not really. He'd expected that. But it was symptomatic of the real issue. An issue he'd caused but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Simply put, it was the fact that he was living in some dank closet of sorts rather than with his family.

He'd never really been alone like this before. It was late and the club was empty, the staff was gone and he was here, not feeling anyone around him, tossing on his cot in a vain attempt to sleep for a moment or two. Even after his mom died, he'd had his grandfather, after that he'd had his fellow rebels to tend to. He'd never really been on his own in his whole life. It was a strange feeling for him. As was the realization that, in spite of his age, he'd never lived alone before.

It was a humorless observation. Of that much he was certain. And that his first place of his own (it wasn't really that but it was as close as he'd ever been) was a dank cot in his mother's club. He had missed his mother so much and it seemed like some kind of cruel trick to have her back in his life but for him not be able to tell her how much he missed her and how much he loved her or anything. It made him feel sick that he had to lie to her when his every instinct had begged him to scream to her…to tell her everything because he just knew being around her made him feel like everything was going to be alright.

But nothing was ever that simple. How could he hurt her like that? It bore reminding that this was, after all, something he knew he wouldn't survive. He couldn't, even in good conscious, give his mother hope knowing that even if he was able to change the world he came from, she would lose him. He couldn't bare doing that to her. There was always the potential that she wouldn't care or wouldn't believe him but at his heart he knew this was his long dead mother, a woman whose memory meant the world to him and he couldn't imagine either of those things defining her reaction to anything.

But all the same, it broke whatever finer feelings he once protested to have that he couldn't just say "it's me mom, it's me, it's me" He knew how painful it had been to lose her…and he could only imagine how horrible it was going to be for her to lose him. He'd heard stories as a child from his aunt Phoebe about how his mother nearly didn't recover losing her sister Prue. He knew that the whole thing with Paige hadn't made that wound heal, it just made her suppress. He knew too that his mother never told him about her oldest sister, and he had thought at the time about Wyatt and how broken he would've been without him.

Even knowing Wyatt's destiny and how horrible he turned out to be, Chris knew he couldn't live without his brother. It wasn't something he ever wanted to deal with. All those battles he had planned and orchestrated as the head of the resistance never terminate with "kill the dictator" He couldn't stomach it, and wouldn't have allowed some of the plans he hadn't known about.

He could still remember one of his many sessions in Wyatt's torture chambers where his brother asked him how he could've been involved in the most recent failed assassination attempt; in, essentially, a plot to murder the only real family he had left. He kept it inside, suppressed his pain as his mother had, reverted to general mode and let nothing slip. He didn't show his horror at the suggestion and the pain that his brother had believed him capable of it.

This time though, he hurt because there wasn't another choice. Yes he had made a decision to isolate himself from his family. He couldn't regret the choice he made to come back and do what he could to save Wyatt. His sacrificing was merely par for the course. There was a bigger problem at hand here, and it was the most important problem his world ever knew. Any other things were pointless by comparison. Nothing else mattered but saving his world, his brother. He knew he had lied to them all, and that they had no reason to believe him or trust him. He probably sounded like a crazy person. But the ends had to justify the means, they just had to. He was out of options and running out of time.

He caused this. He could've come through and told them the truth, damn the future consequences. But he was too afraid. There was one too many things that he knew that he shouldn't know, that issue alone was going to make them extremely suspicious of him. The fact that they would most likely expect him to know everything that is going on in spite of the fact that there weren't really records like that in the future, and even if there was, how could he possibly be expected to remember all of that.

He was lucky to remember everything he'd read about the titans, primarily because he remembered the story his mom told him about it when he was 10 and studying mythology in school. She'd told him about when she encountered these great Greek problems. His mom had a lot of stories like that. It seemed like anytime he encountered some element of folklore in school, his mom would be able to set him straight, did it exist and what was the truth, he couldn't share these stories with his classmates, that much was obvious, but when he knew the truth of something his teachers told their classes about, he felt like he was special. With Wyatt around, it wasn't exactly common place for him to feel special.

Sometimes he could nearly convince himself that there was some spark of recognition in "Piper". He could tell himself that she saw their similarities. Deep down, he knew that he secretly wanted her to see it. He wanted her to know him the moment she looked at him. His mother had always told him that he was more like her than he'd ever realize. Surely "Piper" could see that? It hurt that she didn't. It hurt that his family couldn't see it in him. True, that had been the plan, but he missed them so much, he'd hoped the moment they saw him they'd see it. Seeking approval from a family who, in his time, was long dead and beyond his reach, made him feel like a little kid again.

It had been a pressing preoccupation on his mind since making the decision to come back that this was important. He had this absurd childish wish to try to make his mother proud. He had convinced himself that, had the situations been turned and she had survived that dark day, she would be doing what he was doing. He tried to remember everything she taught him. He could almost hear her telling him "be brave peanut, you can do this". It was ridiculous, his mom had been gone for more than 6 years (well from the point where he'd left his own time) but sometimes in that haze between awake and sleeping he could almost hear her speak to him. It had always been a moment of peace, when he could forget that she was gone. But when the haze cleared and the harsh light of another dismal dawn jarred him from his dreams, he'd realize all over again what had happened, and that it was his fault. Back home, each new day had brought that aching pain.

But here, in this time, it was so much worse. He awoke sensing her. That brief haze allowed him to feel safe. Some mornings he nearly orbed to her in that haze, and having to retrain himself wasn't easy. He forcibly reminded himself that his mother was dead, and that "Piper" was little more than a ghastly reminder of what he had lost. True, it hurt to do that, it hurt every time. But it was necessary if he was to be able to maintain his cover. He'd come back for a reason, to save the last remaining member of his family, his brother, from a fate worse than death. He couldn't allow grief or a childish desire to have a mother again, distract him from the task at hand.

Leo was a little easier to cope with. He had, upon arriving, begun to second guess his plan to get Leo out of the way earlier than it had happened naturally. Dropping in during a critical moment of the Titans disaster was vital. He had wrestled with himself about that. True, he had no love for elders, but he couldn't help but think that maybe had more of them survived the Titans then maybe they would've been able to be of some help when Wyatt went over the edge. Maybe, in spite of their nearly constant radicalizing and rationalizing, maybe they could've helped.

He even considered arriving weeks in advance, preventing the whole situation, and letting that be his clearance card. BUT that would mean his father wouldn't become an elder and then how would Chris be able to situate himself in his family's lives. It was a hard choice to make and one he still agonized over. But the fact that Leo had never been a part of his life, it made it a little easier to simply shuffle him out of the way. After all, father or not, he didn't have that pain when he dealt with Leo. It didn't hurt when Leo treated him badly, because it was almost as if he had expected it.

But then again, the only Leo he knew was a heartless bastard who was never there for him. He realized with a start that he HAD expected it, all of it. It was just like it had been when he was younger. The more he thought about it the more convinced he was that the problem wasn't that he was not expecting it, it was simply that his mom had always told him that his father simply had a demanding job and that he would've been around if he could've. Seeing his father in this early transition…seeing him drop everything for Wyatt like he always had just reminded Chris of how much he always resented not having a real father.

Chris distinctly remembered the anti-magic ward he had erected for his grandfather's funeral. Things had already gotten bad by that point, and if Wyatt planned on attending, he probably planned on leaving with Chris in tow. Chris hadn't told Wyatt that he'd begun gathering followers of his own. That Chris was the mysterious "general" that some of the rebels Wyatt captured spoke of. The anti-magic ward had an undesirable effect where Leo was concerned. Suddenly he couldn't sense Wyatt. Ended up orbing to the last sensing location, outside the church where the funeral was held. He remembered the look on his father's face when he burst through those doors screaming for Wyatt. The realization that the only reason his father showed up for his grandfather's funeral was the fact that the suddenly couldn't sense WYATT. Chris was pretty glad of the anti magic ward at that point…knowing if it hadn't been there he would've blasted leo into the next galaxy. Instead he coldly asked him what he was doing there…the moment he stammered about Wyatt, Chris threw him out of the church…physically because his wards wouldn't permit anything else.

Of course, that wasn't the only reason that day remained emblazoned in his memory. He and Wyatt said side by side looking at the wooden coffin. Chris remembered holding his grandfather's hand while Victor said "I'll give your love to your mother Chris. I'm gonna miss you kid" Chris didn't say a word, he didn't have a chance, as it was that moment that the machines in the room started making a god offal noise and every doctor on the floor came rushing in with a crash cart. Chris knew it wouldn't do any good, they had both been expecting this for months, all the same it was horrifically painful experience and the moment the doctor called it he orbed out. He didn't care about exposing magic anymore, his brother had been sure that was no longer a problem. He orbed not to headquarters but to the manor to call his brother. In spite of everything that had happened up to that point, he needed Wyatt. That night they both slept under the same roof for the first time since their mother passed. Chris had been living at resistance headquarters since the beginning, orbing home to the manor once a week or so to visit his grandfather and keep up appearances that he still lived there.

Not that it mattered, Wyatt only came back four or five times in the three years between the passing of his mother and grandfather. He showed up at the hospital two days before Victor passed to try to heal him. Chris remembered all the strange black magic Wyatt tried after the traditional methods didn't work. Chris had to beg him to stop trying when he saw that not only was it not helping, but it seemed to be causing his grandfather a great deal of pain. Wyatt looked at him, and said simply "I was trying to save him for you" Chris felt like asking why he hadn't tried for any of the other family members that he had to bury without Wyatt.

Wyatt had, at the funeral, turned to Chris and said "everything I've done is so we wouldn't have to sit here again. I'm sorry Christopher, I failed." Chris had turned to Wyatt, his eyes drier than they had been all day "I'm not going with you Wyatt. I can't" Wyatt had grabbed his brother and tried to orb, only to be held in place by the anti magic warding. "you knew I'd try didn't you?" He said, completely deadpan. "Chris just shrugged "You're my brother, how could I not? But I'm not coming with you. You've made your choice, you've turned away from me. Now I'm making mine. If we see each other again, it won't be by choice. Goodbye Wyatt, I'll never stop believing you can change." Chris walked out of the church by his own volition, leaving his brother alone with his grandfather's corpse. He never heard Wyatt's answer, softly spoken, it seemed to echo about the empty vestibule. "me neither"

And it was the last time he would see Wyatt on friendly terms. The very next time he was strapped to the ceiling by his ankles, seeing a slightly amusing apparently upside-down Wyatt trying to question him. The blood rushing to his brain made it seem all the more amusing and the spontaneous laughter prompted a low voltage black energy ball to slice through the bindings holding him to the ceiling. For a moment he had almost thought he had been rescued, nearly began yelling at an invisible subordinate for risking their cause just for him. Seeing Wyatt's face looming over his, the sneer and the heartless blue eyes tore at his memory of the last time he'd seen his brother, replaced a compassionate person with this monster, and a very mocking "You're taller than I remember" was greeted with a good old fashioned boot to the face. "Still think it's funny Christopher?"

Chris's mind turned to the room, the cot, the memory of those cold blue eyes clawed at him when he tried to sleep. He orbed to the bridge and spent the rest of the evening watching the city, maybe he wasn't ready to be alone just yet.

* Okay guys I know this took a very long time and I'm awfully sorry. But for the last month I've been working two jobs, one of which as a nanny to a one year old. As can be expected, I haven't had time to breath, let alone write. But I did owe all of you an explanation…so that was it…umm yea. For the time being, I'm not spending a lot of time on things that happened in the show, simply put, you've seen them already, you don't need me to spend five pages describing something you've all seen with your own eyes. However, if it becomes essential to make a point doing that then I will but I want to promise that I won't use recounting an episode to constitute a chapter or to take away from the unique material. *


	4. I'll Miss You

* for this chapter, even though it we aren't there yet in the story, I went back and watched season 6 episode 10, for a look at Bianca and Chris montage lol, found it really helpful I also want to apologize for the delay on this one because I've been trying to graduate from college for the last few months, I managed it though so I'm officially a college graduate So the delay was important but I still feel bad *

Chapter 4: I'll miss you

Bianca wasn't looking at Wyatt when he came into the cell. She seemed intent not to do so, in fact it was nearly impossible for her not to look at him when he came in, being that she was being held up by chains on the wall. She felt so stupid to have been captured at all, though admittedly it had been her fault. She missed Chris, she missed him the moment he vanished into the triquetra on the wall. This had prompted her to be more careless than she would've normally been.

Aimless wandering found her in the park, at that special spot where Chris often took her. It seemed impossible that that one little space had escaped the destruction wrought upon the city. But every visit since she was a little girl found the small green space as she remembered it. She'd seen it crumble into ruin in the last few years but it still seemed a constant reminder that beautiful things remain when all the artificial is torn away. In some ways, in spite of the destruction, the park had become an icon of rebirth. It reminded the rebels that there was still good to be fought for.

She settled on the bench, and put her hands over her arms. It was cold today. It seemed so silly to think of the weather at the moment that it almost made her laugh. Her eyes spotted something out of place among the flowers. The broken columns had made her miss it at first, assuming the glimmer of white was little more than rubble.

A moment later she was holding an envelope. The ink had been fresh when it was placed there, so there was a small smear at the end of her name, where it had made contact with its hiding place. She knew who it was from in an instant. Her fingers traced over the letters of her own name and saw his hand writing it. She held back the tears which were threatening to fall from her eyes until she just couldn't. She gathered the still sealed envelope to her, and sat for a moment with it close to her, imagining his face, finding it hard to do a simple thing like breathing. For, in an instant, all she could hear was her own sobs which seemed to echo in the emptiness all around her.

She couldn't have said how long she remained there clutching the envelope. All she knew was that the chill and the pain started to get to her and she found herself falling asleep. It was more due to exhaustion than anything else, she and Chris had spent the past several weeks planning his trip, what he was going to say, when he was going to go, and how they were going to manage to get into the manor house undetected. Every little eventuality had to be anticipated, Chris wouldn't allow for anything less.

He was more general than man in that respect, he didn't need to sleep much anymore. He was often plagued by the constant feeling that there was just too much that needed to be done. He wouldn't allow people to die so he could sleep. Often he would insist that she get some rest while he tended to the wounded or trained young rebels on how to stay alive. Often she would refuse. Especially lately, as this trip to the past was the culmination of everything they'd been working for. It was too important to leave anything to chance. She supported him, stayed with him. And the result was neither of them had truly rested in more than a month. Suddenly everything crashed down upon her, the lack of sleep, the pain at loosing him and fear for his safety were just too much. She fell into a troubled sleep.

It appeared though that sleeping out in the open like that wasn't the smartest idea. She wasn't aware of Lord Wyatt's edict, though it seemed obvious that as a leader in the rebellion and the lady fair of its general, she'd be a prime target. She had once worked for Wyatt, indeed that was where she had met Chris originally, as being one of the few who had been able to capture him and bring him in as Wyatt demanded. She typically had a very good handle on what Wyatt was planning because, for the most part, she understood what he would be planning or what his reactions would be to potential dangers. In that way, she'd proved a valuable recruit for Chris, and had saved many lives by simply informing them during the planning process that if she were Wyatt, she would see this or that coming from a mile away.

It was falling for Chris which had led her away from Lord Wyatt's service. Until she'd met him, she'd been quite content to do as she was told, no questions asked. Everything changed when she'd scooped up the very young leader as he assisted in a raid. She knew only that she'd captured the man known as "the general". Wyatt's minions, even higher level assassins such as the phoenix coven, were instructed to get their hands on the leader of the rebellion by any means necessary. It was thought at the time that with their leader in the hands of the enemy, the resistance would crumble. No one knew, at that time, who "the general" was, as none of Wyatt's people had survived an encounter with him long enough to report back. It was, then, the prize of her career to capture him, to unmask him.

To say Chris wasn't what she had expected was a gross understatement. She'd thought initially she must have made a mistake. The guy was young, younger than her by a good 6 years or so, he was scrawny and didn't look like much of a threat to anyone. It had been the belief among Wyatt's higher level assassins that "the general" had to be an upper level demon who didn't want to admit he was out gunned by young Wyatt. She was sure, in her own mind, that this was so. There was talk of Bathazar, though everyone knew he was long gone, Or Barbas or anyone with enough power to believe they could survive an encounter with Lord Wyatt. Most of the candidates discussed had been dead for more than 20 years, and she thought it was frankly ridiculous that they had been called into memory to give a face to the strength and power of "the general"

She'd never imagined in a million years that the truth would be that a young witch was responsible for organizing the one and only successful moment against the new source. Being face to face with him, she had to admit she admired his power. It took a lot to have people follow you she'd reasoned, even more to have them die for you, die to protect you. It was particularly impressive considering his age. Of course the one thing that struck her that she really hadn't been expecting was he was handsome. Young yes but there was something about his eyes that stuck with her. She hadn't been able to say she'd ever seen anything like it before.

They were a subtle olive green and reminded her somehow of a trip to the mountains when she was young and in school. It had been a long ride in the bus and she'd been particularly angry as she could've been there in mere seconds had she not promised her mother not to use magic while among the kids at school. Her anger was forgotten as they all piled out of the bus and she saw the loaming canopy of trees. The children's voices were swallowed up by the birds and everywhere there was green, lush and vibrant. Bits of brave blue sky fought their way in, so every now and again there was a little spot of light amid everything. The color hadn't been the same but the way his eyes made her feel so free was something she hadn't truly experienced since that moment in the mountains. The feeling that the world was a big place and that she could run and hide in the forest and no one would ever find her again was thrilling. She felt that way now. That she could just disappear at that moment and never owe anything to anyone ever again.

It wasn't something she'd been allowed to think as a child, it wasn't something the phoenix clan embraced and it became a spark inside her. From that moment forward, even after handing Chris over to the guards and collecting her bounty, she thought about him constantly. She'd sneak into the detention center (though she clearly had no place there) just to see him. Every visit though he looked worse, still defiant but haggard and bloody. She'd expected Lord Wyatt to kill him when she brought him in, so as the weeks passed and he remained alive rumors started to spread. Who was this man? And Why had Lord Wyatt spared him? No one had the courage to ask, knowing that Wyatt didn't like his decisions questioned. Still she'd heard everything from Wyatt was trying to recruit the kid or that Wyatt was going to use him as a bargaining chip to get something he wanted out of the last remaining elders.

But one particular rumor seemed so far fetched that it couldn't help but be so. She'd overheard a few of the detention center guards talking. Apparently very few demons knew anymore that Lord Wyatt had a little brother. It was forbidden to speak of him in Wyatt's presence but the resemblance between the kid and the last known picture of the brothers was close enough that they had began to wonder. Surely it would explain why he was allowed to live, and why Lord Wyatt insisted on being alone when he went to see him. Usually Wyatt had his servants do the dirty work while he sat back and watched. With "the general" things were different. It was all very secretive. No one was allowed to speak with him, or, surprisingly, suggest disposing of him in Wyatt's hearing.

The strangeness of it all just struck Bianca even then. And her natural curiosity took over. She snuck in one evening, vanquished the pathetic guard in charge just for kicks and made her way into the detention center. She crept along the damp hallways, she could hear screams and moaning from those who occupied the many cells. Reaching the end of the corridor the noises stopped. Every cell save one in this area was empty. Reaching the bars she summoned up her resolve and peered in.

She was met with fierce green eyes. "What are you doing here?" a softly spoken command surprised her. He wasn't like most of the folks in here, in spite of the fact he'd been there for months now in what is best described as the closest thing to hell many people would ever imagine, he still seemed so defiant, every bit a leader. She met his question with one of her own "I wanted to meet you…" she said, timidly. He looked startled by her answer. "why?" She couldn't explain why. Curiosity seemed like such a stupid reason to give now that she was face to face with him. During the time it had taken her to answer he'd gotten to his feet and dusted his clothes off. She didn't know why he did that but it made it easier for her to talk to him, to face him as an equal not as if she were any more important.

"There's been a lot of talk lately about who you are. I want to know if it's true." She said, it seemed reasonable enough to her, not exactly that she was just curious, more that everyone was and she was just the first to actually get up the courage to come in and talk to him. She didn't mention that it had been forbidden for anyone to talk to him, though doubtless he already knew. She backed away a little from where she was standing, as she had noticed him coming closer and closer to the bars. "I'm not going to hurt you" he said. It was simple and there was no reason why he shouldn't, but hearing that made her relax a little. It wasn't that she was afraid exactly, she knew full well that those bars were the most effective power draining cage that had ever been designed. Lord Wyatt made sure of that. He kept some of the most powerful beings on the planet in his detention chambers, simple crystal cages just wouldn't cut it. She hadn't known why she'd backed up, any more than why she stopped.

They'd talked for hours, it didn't make any sense why but for some reason they both felt that they had something to say to each other. They were just so comfortable together, after a while it had been difficult to even think about the bars or the chamber and he had no way of knowing if she wasn't just trying to get information out of him on Wyatt's orders. After all, her entire visit could've easily been just that, an elaborate ruse to get him to talk. But either he just trusted her for some unimaginable reason, or that he was careful to just say enough to where he wasn't revealing anything. He talked about his mother a little bit, about growing up, about silly things that made her smile. And she, in turn, had done the same. It was ridiculous, the whole thing, they had absolutely no reason to say everything they had. But it just felt right. After she had slipped away, she'd heard his voice follow her up the corridor. "I'll miss you" he'd said, softly though she was sure he knew she'd heard him.

Ever since then, she'd know that was the moment when she'd fallen for him. He would say it after every conversation they had back then, even after he'd escaped, he'd taken her with him, knowing full well that she was completely willing to follow him anywhere. It became something private, something between them. It meant something more to them though. They had both lost people they loved in the fight, and both had seen death on a daily basis. They knew that in a moment everything can chance, a mere second and then it's like the people they cared about never existed. In most cases, they never had the chance to say goodbye.

So "I'll miss you" came with the unspoken words 'If I never see you again'. They didn't have to say it but it was as passionate a goodbye as either of them could manage. It was a promise to never forget each other, never forget why they were together, and never let the other go without reminding them of just those simple words, because they might never get to say goodbye.

As Bianca slept, she muttered them again, as if for the last time, the unopened letter slipped from her fingers to the ground under the bench. As the drone scanned her and made its transmission, "I'll miss you" hung half worded in the air. Like a whisper. The demons shimmering in never heard it though they did find her and were quite pleased by their discovery. Shimmering back with her before she'd had a chance to put up a fight was wondrous to them. They never saw the letter half buried in the overgrown unattended grass. Belkindo welcomed his retrieval squad with relish and went to inform the source in person.

Lord Wyatt appeared in moments, eager to have his concerns and questions answered. She wouldn't look at him, so he grabbed her chin and forced her face to meet his. "Did you know?" She seemed confused for a moment which infuriated him. He grabbed her restrained arm and pulled, hard enough to break it. "I asked you a question Bianca. Did you know he wasn't coming back?"

Her mind exploded in denials, everything in her screamed to have him take it back, to force her to realize that this was Lord Wyatt and the truth was a foreign concept to him. That he couldn't be right, that it was a trick. And a thousand other things begged her to deny it. Slowly the pieces in her mind clicked. She'd asked him to promise her he was returning and he hadn't done it, they'd been swept away for a moment, and her question was forgotten. She hung her head, going limp in the restraints. She didn't care that Lord Wyatt and his demons were there, she needed a private moment to grieve. Deny it all she wanted to, she knew different. She knew it was real. She knew she'd never see Chris again.

She cried for a moment, which seemed to surprise everyone in the room. She'd known them all from when she used to work for Lord Wyatt, and none of them had ever seen her display emotion. Wyatt motioned for everyone else to leave quietly, and they did, walking until they were to the point where they were once again able to shimmer. As the last of them passed Wyatt he heard her speak, it was so faint that he almost thought he'd imagined it. But it hung there, the emotion was still raw for him, he could feel it from her too. Between them this little phrase stood, meaning so much more than those simple words ever had before.

"I'll miss you."

* okay I'm back, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. I don't know that we see very much of Bianca beyond _Chris Crossed_ so she's mostly a blank slate for fan fiction authors. For me, I believe she is evil initially because she never was taught that there was another way to be. Meeting Chris, falling for him, it shows her that life doesn't always have to be like that. He represents for her a new way of being someone new Love can do that to a person I think, change them like that. And for them, I like to imagine they both knew quite quickly that this was meant to be. I understand a lot of you probably aren't fans of Bianca. I get that. Because, let's face it, the one we are introduced to in the show just seems so cold and we are forced to be unable to understand her motives or relate to her. But I judge it on what she meant to Chris before, not her actions when she comes back to claim him. It is his image of her which I base my interpretation on….

And now for my fabulous reviewers who have been so patient with me, I dedicate this chapter to them….

To who wrote "_Such a sad chapter and I hate Leo more than ever! Smart move with the non magical wards at the funeral. Glad to see you back __" _I for one am glad to see any reviewer returning for more, it means the world to me. It is worth mentioning, however, that shortly after chapter 3 was posted, my own grandfather passed away. In many ways, then, aside from my school work, returning to this fic after writing a scene like that with Chris and his grandpa brought to mind the pain I was feeling. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I'm sorry I made you wait so long for this, and I thank you for being so supportive of this story.

To crlncyln who wrote "_OMW, what a amazing chapter! I cried my eyes out, the sadness Chris felt is unbearable!_

_I totally understand life getting busy and thank you for this awesome story, Please Update Soon!" _I'm sorry I made you cry, but I've been in Chris's shoes now a few times, it never really gets easier to deal with, and I understand how he felt. As for updating soon, as you can see I didn't though it's here now, and thank you for reading, I hope you like this new chapter. I promise it won't always be so sad.

And for everyone who has this story on alerts or on favorite lists or what have you, thanks for being patient with me, I've had it sort of rough lately but I'm back and I'll be around a lot more now days. If you have questions about this story or any of my others please ask, I'm always happy to answer them

Until next time, much love from your humble author, Kat *


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